Parma Violent are the now defunct group from Galashiels which comprised:

Their story is not unlike that of so many of Rock's legends, but the twist here is that they were one of the many bedroom bands who folded without achieving any external success. Yes that's what happened with the Commitments but remember, that was just a film. Real life as anyone who has ever taken part in it will know, is altogether more weird.

This page will provide a small biography of the band from it's inception to it's eventual dissolution at the hands of bickering, alcohol, drugs, women, and final degree examinations.

1988:

The earliest forerunner of PV was formed when Jason Shepherd (The Incredible def=Adder), and Keith Farmer (Smoke T), formed a rap band called THE WATCHMEN. Overcoming a distinct lack of recording equipment by a complicated series of track popping, mixdowns and lots of cables and hiss they produced several tracks including a hilarious acapella version of the theme from S-Express. This flirtation with completely inappropriate uses for Acapella was to surface again in the future.

At around this time, James Maclaine (Jimski EEE) was getting involved with ROTTWEILER a project of Lewis Thorne's devising. Lewis had been playing music with an old Primary school friend of keiths, Jonathan Collins (J0S) for several years and had come up with such bizarre things as Clancy the Dancing Seal. But all this is another story, it just introduces us to Jim and his music.

At the Same time, Keith and Andrew Cairns (Professor X) were in the middle of devising the concept, background, image and lyrics for a Mission style goth band, THE RIDERS OF EPHESUS. We didn't do any music for it, but Andy was always better with image and Concept than the actual music. (See CRONOS pages for history repeating itself).

All four of them were in the Same Art class and they began to work together on various concepts and share various influences. Inevitably, something would happen on the traditional Saturday get togethers at keith's house.

1989:

One Saturday night (told you!), Smoke-T, Professor X and DEA were at Smoke-T's and bored with playing utopia on the Aquarius (the Spectrum was away for repair), they came up with the idea of "An Acapella Hardcore Thrash Outfit", as they were all fans of Napalm Death and were as usual being rather silly.

9 songs were recorded that night.

Next Saturday, Professor X was AWOL (rumoured to be in Peebles) but Jimski EEE came round and Entered the fray. Bringing another keyboard and some more wacky ideas, he slotted into the band perfectly.

9 more songs were recorded that night although they were less thrashy and more sketch orientated.

THIS WAS THE BIRTH OF EXTREME ASTLEY DEATH 

Now in their Sixth year at High School, Smoke T left the Art class and defected to Music and started pottering around with the Class four track and Juno106 Synthesiser (i STILL want one !!). EAD ended up with a rather jokey cover version of Holly johnston's Love train called "Stoke it up Christine's Chives" credited to them. It was in fact a collaboration between Smoke-T and Simon Kellas to Wind up Christine Cormack. The only copy has now sadly been lost ! 

EAD made two quantum leaps with their next sessions. Jimski EEE introduced A GUITAR !! and Jason started to write lyrics down beforehand instead of deciding on the name of the song and just winging it ! The Band developed their comedy skit and thrash styles and developed their rural alter egoes THE PROTRACTORS.

During the Summer more of the same was churned out but we were spending more time on other pursuits and no tape appeared.

In September, Smoke-T and Professor X went to Napier polytechnic (remember those ?) and Jimski EEE went to Glasgow university. Grant money was spent on ELECTRIC GUITARS !!!

THIS WAS THE DEATH OF EXTREME ASTLEY DEATH

Keeping the emphasis on thrash music (which they took to mean loud, Fast and inaccurate) work proceeded during the holidays.

But there was a problem with the name. EAD had been fine for something which was the bastard lovechild of Napalm Death, the Goon Show and the Flying pickets but something a bit more in tune (that would be the ONLY thing in tune for quite some time) with the noise pollution being produced.

Smoke-t put his foot down and would not allow: Tiannamen square massacre

So the band became DEATH BY LEPROSY and recorded stuff including The house of the rising sun, which they had begun to abuse last summer as EAD. Smoke-T was sometimes absent from these sessions and some became virtually crossovers between DBL and ROTTWEILER. DEA is now the only one with copies of the stuff recorded at that time.

DEA chose this time to become the Drummer of the band. Hammering like fuck on the top of an old electric heater. it sounded Great !

By the end of the year, moaning about the name had seen a change to APATHY because nobody could be arsed to debate (i.e argue about) it any longer.

One of the interesting things about starting a band playing your own stuff right from the beginning and doing so just as you start to learn to play your instruments, is that very unique styles can be forged from all the influences and techniques in the mix. Much better than band who play cover versions for years untill they can play properly. They ruin themselves with preconceptions and constraints. Over the year of 1990, APATHY began to break out of the Thrash noise mould and allowed their own unique style to emerge. DEA's Rapping style of Vocal delivery, Prof X's Indie Style Vocals, Smoke-T's Cure inspired Bass playing and Jimski EEE's unique guitar playing sound all gelled together to make the Apathy sound.

their playing was on the improve too. Prof X's mother once remarked (visibly shocked) that she thought she recognised what they were playing.

Possibly the finest hours they ever had as a band. Re-opening the Wound err Debate on the band name led to a rename to PARMA VIOLENT a play on Parma violets which were very bizarre tasting sweets. The last vestiges of thrash were aided on their way out the door by the temporary addition of Alice Maclaine (Jimski EEE's wee sister) as vocalist who had been collaborating with jimski on a couple of numbers which ended up in the PV repertoire. Three of the greatest compositions of the band debuted at this time: 

95. : An apparently true story put into verse by Jim. A night security guard had been doing keep fit chin ups from a bar underneath a lift at his work. He lost his grip one night and fell, shattering both legs. He crawled into the ventilation and heating ducts looking to get out and passed out. workers eventually found him after the smell of his burns alerted people to something amiss. The tune and vocal delivery were made up completely on the spot and the song developed later into the Band's most memorable number.

Drugsong: it was a story from DEA about the perils of Smoking dope when you are still living at home. It was oficially titled paranoid High but universally referred to as Drugsong

Jim Davidson: Full title of this collectivly penned tirade is jim davidson is a Cunt. Tired of his racist and sexist jokes and his woeful snooker game show. The band decided to make their feelings felt.

Also recorded in the early part of the year but later disowned by Jim was a song called brainstorm which he wrote with Alice. Just to annoy him, when the tape is found, it's getting mp3'd !!! Because it's actually great ! Smoke-T and jim's song in the style of all the late 80's Glasgow bands never materialised although the lyrics were written at 2am one morning as Smoke-T awoke in the middle of the night with them in his head and for once got up and wrote them down instead of waking up in the morning with no recollection whatsoever of what they were.

Later in the year, the ORANGE BUTTON SESSIONS were produced. To the untrained ear, PV sound very rough and it is easy to feel superior. But please bear the following in mind:

It was all played live and recorded in ONE take.

The songs were recorded sometimes the first time the first time they'd ever been played

No four tracks, mixer desks or other trickery were used.

If you doubt that PV were live and uncut, listen carefully to A Forest on the Orange button, you can hear both Smoke-T's and Prof X's watch chimes going off , Prof X arguing with jimski EEE at the beginning and Smoke-T trying to supress laughter during a protracted fade out.

15 Songs went on the orange Button sessions and it became the last ever PV tape produced.

This was the year everything should have gone right, sadly it was the year everything fell apart.

Armed with an Amiga for drums, and A 4-Track !!! the band set about recording new versions of their material, but the non live playing, the bickering about Prof X, the distances involved and the fact that once they had their own 4-Tracks they tended to work alone and in their own styles. The band just fizzled out. if they had been a gigging live band, they might have been tighter and held on for a bit, but alas, PV never even split up , they just never got round to reconvening.

Where are they now ?

DEA still lives in Galashiels and works on his Rap projects and his collaborations with Mortis of ORCHARD. DEA is the most hard working of the band, always recording good quality work in a quite unique style. The freedom to express himself in his own style and pace has been taken in the most impressive fashion. Prof X and jimski EEE crop up from time to time in his work.

Works quite a lot with friends but never seems to produce anything concrete. lives in London.

Tries to keep his oar in, with 3 solo tapes of dissapointing quality. Finds it very hard to motivate himself outside a band situation. currently hiding behind banks of technology in London, making the occasional bleeping noise and claiming 'It'll be ready soon !'.